I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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