I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
