then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
