Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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