If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
