I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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