Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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