somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
