He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Randomize
