Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
