And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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