if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
