Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
