my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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