i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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