I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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