You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
