I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
