Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she told me i tasted like america
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
