So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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