Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
