i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
