I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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