He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
