Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
