There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
