Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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