i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
