She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
