That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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