I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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