He is an equal opportunity slut.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
