i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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