Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
