Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
