You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
there is glitter all over my balls
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