whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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