the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
