i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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