i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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