He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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