I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
