my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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