This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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