Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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