At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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