your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
