I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
