hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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