I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
