Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
