I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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