i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am naked and annoyed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
