He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
